- All I need to make a comedy is a park, a policeman and a pretty girl.
- [Returning to Los Angeles after a 20-year self-imposed exile to accept his honorary Oscar in 1971] Thank you so much. This is an emotional moment for me and words seem so futile, so feeble... I can only say that... thank you for the honor of inviting me here and... oh... you're wonderful, sweet people. Thank you.
- I like friends as I like music, when I am in the mood. To help a friend in need is easy, but to give him your time is not always opportune.
- The minute you bought your ticket you were in another world.
- I remain just one thing, and one thing only, and that is a clown. It places me on a far higher plane than any politician.
- The saddest thing I can imagine is to get used to luxury.
- [on being informed that Adolf Hitler sat through two screenings of The Great Dictator (1940)] I'd give anything to know what he thought of it.
- I have no further use for America. I wouldn't go back there if Jesus Christ was President.
- [answering the bad reviews he got on his last movie, A Countess from Hong Kong (1967)] If they don't like it, they are bloody idiots. A diplomat falls in love with a prostitute - what better story can they get than that?
- The summation of my character [The Tramp] is that I care about my work. I care about everything I do. If I could do something else better, I would do it, but I can't.
- Words are cheap. The biggest thing you can say is "elephant".
- I had no idea of the character. But the moment I was dressed, the clothes and the make-up made me feel the person he was. I began to know him, and by the time I walked onto the stage he was fully born.
- I don't believe that the public knows what it wants; this is the conclusion that I have drawn from my career.
- [on his screen character, The Little Tramp] A tramp, a gentleman, a poet, a dreamer, a lonely fellow, always hopeful of romance and adventure.
- All my pictures are built around the idea of getting in trouble and so giving me the chance to be desperately serious in my attempt to appear as a normal little gentleman.
- Failure is unimportant. It takes courage to make a fool of yourself.
- I do not have much patience with a thing of beauty that must be explained to be understood. If it does need additional interpretation by someone other than the creator, then I question whether it has fulfilled its purpose.
- Movies are a fad. Audiences really want to see live actors on a stage.
- Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.
- I went into the business for the money, and the art grew out of it. If people are disillusioned by that remark, I can't help it. It's the truth.
- My childhood was sad, but now I remember it with nostalgia, like a dream.
- It isn't the ups and downs that make life difficult; it's the jerks.
- I hope we shall abolish war and settle all differences at the conference table... I hope we shall abolish all hydrogen and atom bombs before they abolish us first.
- Even funnier than a man who has been made ridiculous is the man who, having had something funny happen to him, refuses to admit that anything out of the way has happened, and attempts to maintain his dignity. Perhaps the best example is the intoxicated man who, though his tongue and walk will give him away, attempts in a dignified manner to convince you that he is quite sober. He is much funnier than the man who, wildly hilarious, is frankly drunk and doesn't care a whoop who knows it. Intoxicated characters on the stage are almost always "slightly tipsy" with an attempt at dignity because theatrical managers have learned that this attempt at dignity is funny.
- Comedy really is a serious study, although it must not be taken seriously. That sounds like a paradox, but it is not. It is a serious study to learn characters; it is a hard study. But to make comedy a success there must be an ease, a spontaneity in the acting that cannot be associated with seriousness.
- Through humor, we see in what seems rational, the irrational; in what seems important, the unimportant. It also heightens our sense of survival and preserves our sanity.
- One of the things most quickly learned in theatrical work is that people as a whole get satisfaction from seeing the rich get the worst of things. The reason for this, of course, lies in the fact that nine tenths of the people in the world are poor, and secretly resent the wealth of the other tenth.
- Figuring out what the audience expects, and then doing something different, is great fun to me.
- The first time I looked at myself on the screen, I was ready to resign [the movie contract]. That can't be I, I thought. Then when I realized it was, I said, "Good night." Strange enough, I was told that the picture was a scream. I had always been ambitious to work in drama, and it certainly was the surprise of my life when I got away with the comedy stuff.
- Naturalness is the greatest requisite of comedy. It must be real and true to life. I believe in realism absolutely. Real things appeal to the people far quicker than the grotesque. My comedy is actual life, with the slightest twist or exaggeration, you might say, to bring out what it might be under certain circumstances.
- [in 1915] Motion pictures is still in its infancy. In the next few years, I expect to see so many improvements that you could then scarcely recognize the comedy of the present day.
- I don't want perfection of detail in the acting. I'd hate a picture that was perfect, it would seem machine made. I want the human touch, so that you love the picture for its imperfections.
- I think a very great deal of myself. Everything is perfect or imperfect, according to myself. I am the perfect standard.
- I usually go to see myself the first night of a new performance, but I don't laugh. No, I just go to see whether or not the film is taking, and what I've done that I shouldn't do. And if it's a success, I'm happy. There's something that makes you feel pretty good in knowing that all over the world people are laughing at what you're doing. But if it isn't a success, then it's terrible, to feel that you're a failure all over the world at the same time.
- [on Douglas Fairbanks] He had extraordinary magnetism and charm and a genuine boyish enthusiasm which he conveyed to the public.
- [on D.W. Griffith] The whole industry owes its existence to him.
- [Upon watching the young Jerry Lewis on television] That bastard is funny! He knows how to take the audience.
- My only enemy is time.
- I don't believe I deserve dinner unless I've done a day's work.
- [Upon receiving an Honorary Oscar at the 44th annual Academy Awards] Thank you so much. This is an emotional moment for me. Words seem so futile and so feeble. I can only say thank you for the honor of inviting me here and you are all wonderful, sweet people. Thank you.
- Life is a beautiful magnificent thing, even to a jellyfish.
- [on receiving a lifetime Oscar, 1972] Words are so futile, feeble.
- All my pictures were built around the idea of getting me into trouble, and so giving me the chance to be desperately serious in my attempt to appear as a normal little gentleman.
- A good talking picture is inferior to a good stage play, while a good silent picture is superior to a good stage play.
- [advice to an over-emoting film actor] Don't sell it. Remember: they are peeking at you.
- [regarding the Looney Tunes] How can we compete? These guys don't have to stop to take a breath.
- Life is a beautiful, magnificent thing, even to a jellyfish. The trouble is you won't fight. You've given in, continually dwelling on sickness and death. But there's something just as inevitable as death, and that's life. Life, life, life. Think of all the power that's in the universe, moving the earth, growing the trees. That's the same power within you if you only have courage and the will to use it.
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